I'm 44. Not sure how much help I can be -- my mother is a flaming narcissist and chronic alcoholic. Plus, she's 80. Even if she remembered anything, she'd claim it wasn't her fault.

My dad has been gone 10 years, but what you describe is a very "dad" thing, I think. Dads need to feel useful. I almost cried when I saw the look on his face after I bought my first car without asking his advice and having him test-drive it first. He was crushed! I had no idea it would bother him so much; in fact, I thought he would be proud of me for being independent and able to handle myself.

It sounds to me like your dad is worried about you and showing it the only way he knows how. Elderly men of today grew up in a time when men didn't do touchy-feely stuff like say "I love you" or hug their kids or whatnot. This might be the only way he has of showing you he cares.

Good luck.