Quote:
Originally Posted by blacksheep XX
Well, I couldn't figure out how to start a new thread, so I'll reply to your Welcome Message by saying thanks, Doc!
I'm pretty certain I have a APD issue. I also have a bad case of treatment resistant depression from which I've suffered for 25 years. I've had unsuccessful ECT treatments and many drug trials. I have an unresolved sleep disorder as well. However; I write to you, here today about my problem with shoplifting. It's been going on for about a year and half and progressing. It's become a hobby. I'm a female, 44 yrs. old and every time I go into a store, I want to "get away with some thing." I feel childish and know I should be ashamed, but I love getting away with something for nothing, and with the economy so poor and us cutting back on our budget so severely, I always rationalize "buy one- take one  ."
I have a great therapist, but I don't want to share this with her. We have enough stuff that we are working on currently (unresolved family issues, cognitive & dialectical behavioral therapy, etc.) I fear that she will think less of me, too. It's such a stupid problem-- I can't believe that I can't figure out why I'm doing it, myself and why I can't just stop. I certainly know the unhappy end to this is getting caught, humiliated, and possibly sanctioned. It happened to me when I was in my early twenties and I had quit. Why can't I keep that in my head now and stop again? More importantly, why do I lack normal moral integrity? |
I am sure you have plenty of moral integrity!! Just by the nature of the fact that you recognise that it is a problem involves a conscience. The fact that you think(or don't want to) stop is because it involves dealing with an addiction or a comfort blanky. Known behaviour, especially if you get away with it, is the most comfortable(and the most stimulating!!
. These are how habits are formed without us even knowing it. I am familiar with these nasty, insidious devils.
I wonder if you are doing a disservice though by not telling your therapist and i wonder if you have reverted back to it to satisfy filling a void that therapy has inadvertently reopened? Something particularly nasty that you are dealing with or discussing in length? Just a thought........
Babe, don't be so hard on yourself.......you understand the consequences and you are not morally corrupt. Just be careful and work towards telling your T.......they will not think less of you.
