Quote:
Originally Posted by _Sky
When you talk of self punishment, are you referring to self harm, or such punishment like NOT going out and doing anything that might be enjoyed, or denying yourself ice cream because you don't deserve it, or not buying a new outfit because you aren't worthy... etc?
In what ways would you say that this "self punishment" -in your definition of it - has helped you over the years?
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When I talk of self punishment, I am referring to very negative self talk, not forgiving myself for the abuse, and probably the very isolated life that I've lived for too long. I am very uncomfortable with having or doing nice things for myself because I feel unworthy. I also engage in other ways to punish myself, but those ways pale in comparison to what I do to myself emotionally.
In truth, using rational mind, this self punishment has
not helped me over the years, except that the abuse has not repeated itself due to my isolation. I keep myself safe by isolating. The isolation has become a prison in its own right, one that's been almost impossible to leave.
Emotion mind is so strong, it's hard to refute what it says and it beats me down so much when I try to break free from all of this. This is so hard.
Thanks for your response!