Hi Pain,

Re read skys post . That you won't think about all the negative messages that are being triggered today.

Ive heard it said .. Ill think about this tommorrow . or Ill have that drug tommorrow. Just to give yourself some time for this place to pass.

The negative things you expressed were given to you by an abuser And you belive them . others have come into your life and reinforced the same messages. When you see or think about them it triggers all of them to the point even a broken giitar string becomes to much to bear. Ive been there.

Its takes some work to root out the abusers messages from your life and separte you from them . untill you do you'll believe what they tell you and you'll continue to tell yourself thier implanted messages about you are true.

I hope you make it to see your T on tuesday Pain .

It may be part of the OCD to focus in on the negative and the hopelessness worrying it will always happen and the fear.

it may happen again because we can't control another persons words or actions others missinterpret and are clueless of what we can or cannot do not to mention judge our insides by our outsides clueless to the pain and destruction many of us have had to bear . We can learn how to give it back to them and to leave them in peace. if we can't let go of thier actions that hurt us so.

ever read the hole in the side walk?
its an oldie but goodie.

I:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…
I am helpless.
It is not my fault.
It takes forever to find my way out.
II:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in…It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.

Patricia