i'm sorry - i wasn't thinking clearly. i should've made a huge trigger warning next to that link. it's too late to edit my post now (the edit button has disappeared?) otherwise i would add it in now. i will ask a mod to add it in.

thank you meso for the hugs . also thank you everyone for validating my feelings. i know that what happened to me isn't the worst thing in the world (and i've never for a second believed it was), but to have a list which coldly states "this is worse than this", coming from a professional and endorsed by a US govt body, just makes me feel blah .

if people think it is a better idea, i can ask for this thread to be removed altogether. i was posting from a bad place last night, i don't want to make PC unsafe.