 Congrats on your sobriety, it doesn't matter if you've been clean for a month or just 1 day, it's still something to be proud of. 
It's got to be so hard on you, the situation you're in right now. Reaching out to others for help is the best thing to do -- you're on the right track. I know how hard it is to see those pills, the impulse is almost over powering. I'm glad you are going to that meeting, hopefully it will stomp out that ugly little addiction demon and renew your strength. 
Perhaps you can distract yourself by staying on this site most of the day until you leave for the meeting. That's what I do when I'm having a really bad time. If you need someone to talk to (live), there are always the chat rooms. What I do is make a pest of myself, I instant message, leave visitor messages, respond to posts and start new threads. Sometimes I look at the archived posts from 2 or 3 months ago, just to keep my mind distracted.
Don't give in to that ugly little demon, you must fight!!! 
__________________
" I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence. The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth. Please don't tell me that we had that conversation, 'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?
Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly, "Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame.
I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel this party's over? No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel this good sober?" (From the song "Sober", by Pink)
|