I have seen therapists but because I kind of breeze by the subject when broached, I haven't really talked about it all that much since I was a child. I don't feel like any of the stuff from my past effects me today because I don't really like to blame past issues for things that trouble me now. My mother has told me that she felt guilty for what happened but mostly because she never really did anything about it as far as going to the police. The neighbor was much older than me but still a child so I think that has something to do with why she didn't. It's a lot more common now to go to the police when the abuser is a 10 or 12 year old then it was back then. I do remember her taking me to see a therapist right after I told her for about a month, the only thing I remember about that is that was the first time that I explained it wasn't molestation but actual intercourse and I had to use those silly dolls to show what he did. I felt guilty for a long time after my dad died as well, he had terminal cancer but was doing very well and we had gotten into a fight the night before he died. We made up by the end of it but he died of a heart attack and I remember feeling that if I had just been a better daughter maybe he wouldn't have been so stressed that night. The docs said the chemo and the fact that he was overweight was the cause of it but I couldn't shake the feeling for a long time that I played a role in his death. Even little things like the fact that I didn't go check on him until late that morning when I knew he usually got up early bugged me. I kept thinking that maybe if I had gone in his room at 6 or 7 instead of ten I could have saved him. I think it's pretty normal though because my mother, who didn't share a bed with my father, said she felt guilty because she heard him grumbling in the middle of the night and didn't think anything of it because it was so difficult for him to move around due to the chemo weakening him that he always made noises when trying to move a lot. It's just strange to think that something from the past that I don't feel bothers me could be the cause of the way I am. Especially since I am the first one to tell people that the past is the past and not to let it effect you if possible. If it is due to these things that happened I am not sure if anything would help because how can you get over something that you feel you are already over?