In August of 2007 i met this man online, i thought he was gorgeous and perfect for me. We were talking for awhile and had so much in common and felt a deep connection to each other. We decided to meet each other in november, he was from England i am from America. He came over and we fell for each other completely, we kept going back and forth visiting and then we began fighting a lot on the phone and online. He started to become possesive, controlling and smothering (Don't forget jealous). My father was sick at the time so i half blamed myself for making things that way because i was so stressed out with seeing my father the way he was and taking care of him. I ended up having to move my room to the basement where my dad was and switch rooms with him so he was closer to the door in case of emergency. I told my boyfriend that i was scared of the basement and had to sleep on the couch that one night i was not used to it yet and he took that as in he should fly right over the next day and he did. He came early for his trip for the summer and we fought more when he saw me. then my father died on fathers day, it was traumatic and horrible and all he could think about was if my ex was going to be at his wake. I was depressed and felt sick and missed my father so much, a week later this man proposed to me and i said yes because i was so upset i wanted to be happy which was wrong. Wrong timing as well. As soon as i told my mom everyone knew,and all i heard was " The family needed this" I felt stuck i couldnt take back my yes, i was freaking out and felt alone i could not tell anyone espicially my new fiance who was so happy. I ended up marrying him a month later so that he didnt have to get deported. It was so rushed i didnt even get time to think, i was getting pushed from all angles for everything. i began acting out once it happend, started hurting myself, punching fences, screaming at myself, cutting my arms, drinking alot and all he would do was scream in my face and tell me i just wanted my ex which i did not. He reads all my emails, checks browsing history everyday which i have to delete, especially this site or id be getting it bad. He puts himself down and then puts me down, i get scared of him sometimes but i love him so much that i make excuses for him and tell him its not his fault. after my last incident of almost trying to kill myself my whole family intervened and told us to go to marriage counseling. he found a way to talk me out of it and i did. I Just feel so lost and dont know what to do.