Well, yeah. I mean if I have to deal with them to do that, it's fine but what good would they do me now? It's been years and I wouldn't want to dwell on them so really the only thing I would want to do is get past them so that I can move on with my life and stop being so anxious. My family is very into blaming the past for the bad things that have happened to them and while I think it's important to deal with issues I don't want to turn out like my aunt who still blames every failure in her life and every bad decision she makes on her mother and father. There has to be a point when a person accepts responsibility for their actions and it doesn't mean not having feelings it just means dealing with those feelings and moving on with your life. I'm in no way saying I am right in the way I think but it's what I grew up listening to from my mother and my aunt and I swore when I was young that I would never tell my kids that the reason I was a bad parent was because that's how I was raised. It would be within my power to change things if I chose to just as it would be my choice to allow myself to abandon my children as my mom did to my brother and then say that it was because of things that happened in my past or issues that I had with my signifigant other. Does that make any sense at all? lol, I feel like maybe it doesn't. Wouldn't the only point of dealing with any feelings from the past be to move on and get healthier? Honestly, I am not really good at dealing with feelings or emotions, I'm the person that always says "I'm fine" no matter what is going on. Even after my dad died I plastered a big smile on my face for our guests and pretended that I didn't have a care in the world because I didn't want them to see me as weak. This is all new territory for me so I'm not really sure how to go about dealing with it.