My grandma has gone severly downhill since my grandpa died Dec 31, 2001. She moved into a nursing home because she kept getting dizzy and a couple times fell and ended up in the hospital. She turns 87 In a few days and I haven't seen her since last christmas. I live 6 hours away and every time I go to see her my uncle has her out to dinner or something.

Anyways, the last few times I've gone she hasn't even recognized me. My dad said he went to her about a week ago and she didn't even know who he was....her own son. I want to see her because I know she doesn't have much time left but it just hurts so bad to see her like that. Every time I go see her it ends in me bawling my eyes out for hours because she doesn't know who I am. And if you correct her and tell her who you are she gets terrified. She thinks it's 1950 and she becomes so scared when you tell her what's going on. Then she realizes she's not in her 30's and she doesn't know where she is or who all these people are and I can't do that to her.

I just don't know what to do. I want to see her so bad but I don't know if I can take it again. She doesn't even know who SHE is. And I don't want her to pass and me regret not going to visit but it just hurts so so so bad to see her in that condition. Does that make me a horrible person that I can't bear to see her like that even though I know she wont be around much longer?