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I don't talk much about what happened....hardly ever. Part of me wants to scream it....the other part of me thinks that no one wants to hear me whine about my family problems because you all have your own.
I can feel the echos of pain inside of me coming from somewhere deep, yet when I am in therapy, I can't get to the emotions...they won't come. I get nervous and I start to dissociate and then I go numb. Can't even get close, and I don't understand it because I have heard from so many people that have had it worse than me. How can I be such a baby?
Did I also mention that I consistently invalidate myself too....
I have told my therapist about these things that have happened to me. I stated them matter of factly, skirted by them, and just moved on. I have never been able to really deal with the emotion of it all. I have never been able to get there.
I question whether I will ever be able to.
This is all I can say about this right now....
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