hi! Welcome to PC!

It sounds like things are pretty rough for you right now... I'm not sure whose idea it was to tell people highschool would be the best years of their lives, because there are PLENTY of people out there who would qualify highschool as the WORST years of their lives. But a lot of those people are also now highly successful, happy and fulfilled, so just because things aren't good now, try to remind yourself that it won't last forever, and your problems don't spell out the end of the world.

It's just a suggestion, but maybe you should consider talking to someone about how you're feeling? Getting it out on this board is a good first step. But what about someone beyond this site? If you can't talk to your family, have you considered a counsellor at school? Everything you say to them is confidential, and it's their job to listen so you don't have to be afraid of being judged or turned away. There seems to be some kind of stigma attached to going for therapy, but it's nothing to be ashamed of at all. I know I was terrified of what people would think if I told them I was getting counselling -- I thought that therapy was just for "crazy" people, and they'd either think I was also crazy, or think I was being melodramatic for wanting therapy in the first place -- but for the most part, people are actually vey understanding, and seeing a counsellor was the best thing I've ever done for myself. Plus, if you're worried about what others will think about you going into therapy, remember that you don't have to tell anyone about it that you don't want to, because it's really no one's business but your own. Only a few of my closest friends know I'm depressed and in therapy -- I'd been seeing my counsellor for three months before I even told my parents I was talking to her. If you're still really uncomfortable talking to someone face-to-face, you might also consider your local crisis hotline -- there are trained professionals on the other end ready and willing to listen, and it's completely anonymous and confidential. You never know, you might feel better just venting some of your frustrations out loud.

Again, welcome to PC. Keep posting and know I care.