Pomogranite and all other moms who posted.
I can understand how painful it must be to live with the reality of your children not wanting to talk to you.

I will tell you this, a few months before my mom passed away (before she was diagnosed with cancer) I shared with her about someone who had sexually abused me as a child. She didn't believe me, I know she couldn't because of her relationship with this person. That placed a huge wall between us.

I kept talking to her but inside it was killing me. I didn't want her to leave this person, I just wanted her to believe me, to tell me she was sorry that she didn't protect me something. But I never got anything like that from her. It made me feel like she didn't love me. You'd be surprised how many daughters have more anger towards their mother than their abuser/s. Maybe because deep down mom was the one who was supposed to protect them. To love them unconditionally.

Life is too short, I find myself feeling really guilty that I even shared that info with my mom only to have her die a few months later. But what pains me most is that this is never going to be resolved, she is never going to be able to say I love you, I believe you, I'm sorry. I know she loved me in her own way, but I also find myself being angry with her for not resolving this with me.

As a daugher, I can say that I wanted nothing more than for my mom to really show me she loved me. I may have been a pain in the a*s sometimes, God knows. Often we react the way we do out of pain. People do what they do because they have needs. But she was my mom, she was supposed to be the one who showed me she loved me.

I know most if not all of you really love your daughters. I will tell you this, it may be hard as h*ll to do but please tell them you love them. Apologize to them, ask them if you wronged them in anyway. Try your best to make ammends. But more importantly, try not to offer excuses. No greater lesson can you teach your daughter than to be humble and apologize.

Your their mom, thats the job you were given the moment you became their mom, to love them, protect them, to cherish them. Are your children perfect? Absolutely not. Have they wronged you? I would imagine. Though your children are adults, when they see you, they still see you through the eyes of a child. Try to think back to when they were little, try to love them the best you can. There is no perfect parent in the world but there is always room for forgiveness.

Offer that to your children, no excuses. What they do from there on out is their own choice. You can't make them do anything they don't want to . But you owe it to them to love them, scars and all. Thats why we were given moms.

I really wish I had that time with my mom. There were so many things that I wish could have been changed, but more than anything I needed to know she loved me, not just the words coming from her mouth, but heart evidence behind those words.

I wish you all the best with your children. We only have one life and it goes by far too quickly. Please do your best to tell your children that you love them. You may be surprised by the road that takes you down.