The other day I swent to the ASC clinic at County, because I cut my finger kinda deep. The doctor saw that I was taking psych meds and started to ask me all these questions (most of us know them by heart). I was answering "correctly" until he asked me if I was having homicidal thoughts. I told him yes towards my ex-boyfriend. I have them everyday all day long (if any of you know my past I should have homicidal thoughts). I also told him that I wouldn't act on it. He then asked me if my ex was standing in front of me and I had a weapon would I then kill him. I said yes. WRONG ANSWER! Some of you know the waiting in a big city county clinic. I was there a good 5 hours. I told him that I wasn't gonna go to the hospital. I walked out and I was telling my mom what the doctor did and that I was gonna just go home and we were getting coats on when this cop came up and said that I was going across the way to the hospital. After that things are a little fuzzy. It started when he touched me. Then I remember all these people comming toward me. I was handcuffed given a shot of haldol and pretty much drug kicking and screaming to the hospital (most of that I don't remember, my mom told me). My mom said that when we got there I tried to run after they took the handcuffs off and then they put me in 4 pt. restraints (they said that i kept getting out of it and trying to get my feet lose) I got another shot of haldol and some atavan. I remember just sitting there feeling like I was so stoned. I felt like I was high as a kite. It's like I missed it so much. I love being sober, but I loved being high more. I think that because I was in a super altered state of mind and I felt high that I relapsed. I worked so hard to come to terms that my regular meds weren't making me relapsed. It was ok because I am perscribed to them on a daily basis that they were ok. I am the type ok person now that will not take it unless I have a perscription to it. That even includes tylonal. I am so confused right now. Did I relapse because I was given something that wasn't perscribed to me? I have no clue what to think. I don't have a sponser to talk to. I won't talk to my family because they don't understand they way I think.