Hi Starbuck,
so sorry you lost your furry family member - he sure was CUTE. I know it must have been hard to watch him die - but how nice of you to hold his head instead of being alone in the vets cage. We recently got a dog a 10 months ago and if you want to see her - you can click on my profile. I remember when our persian cat 'Killer" died, we were right there with him. He had cardio-myopathy and was suffering. I remember we brought his body home in a blanket and buried him in the backyard next to a rose bush. We didn't want to leave him at the vet, where he would have been put in a mass grave.
I hope you'll feel better soon.