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I have trouble moving on from past events. Has anyone else gone through this? What has helped?
A lot of my depression is caused by years of repression, that got me through my childhood. But all the stuff I didn't deal with back then is still here, buried inside me.
That's about 20 years of repressed stuff. Well, maybe not that much - maybe my baby years were ok - but I carry a lot of baggage from the past that I never dealt with, just ignored.
I don't know how to face all these things which now are attacking me all at once - they were hard enough as individual events! And since I repressed them I haven't learned how to deal with hurt feelings, anger, mistreatment. How to COME TO TERMS with things and MOVE ON.
I am still going through delayed grieving for a member of my family - a cat who was a sister to me. I am upset by lost friendships including 2 friendships which ended because the friends decided I was worthless once I got a boyfriend, how my mother treated me as a child, isolation first caused largely by my mother and then by habit, and even by more recent events involving my boyfriend and his ex (there was major miscommunication... nothing "serious" but it hurt me very much).
I've made some progress, especially in grieving, and in trying to get past friendships. But just when I think it's over it seems to start over again.
Help?
sorry this was a long one
~turquoisesea
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Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
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