What helps for me is is writing things down. I write letters to the people who have wronged me, or who I have wronged. I tell them exactly what I wish I'd said before, exactly what I want to say but don't have the courage/opportunity to say. I take everything out on the page. It's for my eyes only, so I don't censor it even a little bit -- I'll swear, I'll call them names, I'll get angry, I'll cry, I'll just RELEASE onto the page. It's really painful to actually do a lot of the time, but it's also cathartic, and it helps me to move on. I'm a relatively softspoken person, and definitely a pushover. I don't stand up for myself enough, I don't get angry even when I should, I rarely speak my mind. So writing it all down is my coping mechanism, because even if you don't say the things you want to when you want to say them, the feelings are still there, and you feel a lot better expelling them any way you can.

I should add that this probably helps me mostly because I've been writing ever since I can remember, so having a pen in my hand is sort of a natural state for me. Maybe there's catharsis in any kind of creative pursuit, or by pouring yourself into something that you're passionate about -- art, music, maybe a sport. I know someone who "pounds things out" by running, for example.

I hope this helps, and good luck. Coming to terms with the past is not easy, but it's a sign of strength that you're trying to move on.