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Apr 20, 2009, 08:15 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Have you told your therapist that you want to access your feelings? Does she know that you dissociate when you try?
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Yeah...I don't really want to because I'm terrified that these feelings will kill me if I let them out, but I know I need to. 
I think my T can tell that I dissociate with this stuff and I think she is being very cautious with me because I don't have very much middle ground between stable and not stable so if we get to close to something to fast, I tend to take a nose dive quite quickly. We have done some EMDR with some of this and I'm not sure if it helped to process these experiences like it is said to or if it just successfully brought them closer to the surface. 
I DO trust my T...more than I trust anyone else, yet I am having great difficulty allowing myself to be vulnerable enough around her to get to these traumas. It has NEVER been safe for me to be so vulnerable around another person, and I have ALWAYS gotten hurt by someone when I allowed this. I don't know how to fix this.
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