Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpea_tx
My boyfriend is, for the most part, great. Says he'll see me through all of this. The problem is trying to convey to him the way I feel (he says that I'm emotionally closed off... I say I have some trust issues). If I try to explain that I am feeling conflicting things, that part of me just wants to crawl in bed and never come out, while I still have a part of me that's saying that I can do anything that I want to... he says everyone feels that way. Its like he can't fathom that I have been feeling this way for a little better than a month. He thinks that its just because I miss him, because I spent the weekend with him. I told him exactly what I told the counselor that did my intakee today... and he just tries to make me into a normal person in all of that. He knows about those "lapses in judgement" I've made in the past where I have done harm to myself, when that seemed like the easier way to deal. He says that I am two different people... one when I'm with him, and one when I'm not... why can't he see that I am the same person, its the mood that makes me seem like two people? He sees that I was on facebook, and says that I can't be feeling that bad, if I can be social with my friends back in Iowa, and if I want to hang on so tightly to the past, why don't i just go back to Iowa. I got on facebook to post him a note, and did some fluff quizzes to kill time until he returned my phone call. Where's the harm in that? Its not like there's much of a point in trying to find a job at this hour. How do I get through to him? How do I make him see the fact that yes, everyone goes through crap, but I can get stuck in it? That right now, I'm going through the emotional wringer from one end of the spectrum to the other, and I can't for the life of me make it stop? That a beer or a smoke won't do for me what it could very well do for someone normal? URGH!
Help? Comments... advice... anything?
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I went through the same thing----wanting my boyfriend to understand.
But I reallized that he did not and may never understand.
However he did not have to fully understand to take the ride with me and support and love me even when he was completely clueless as to what I was going through.