Elysium3 thanks your not out of line suggesting this. When I described my H's reaction..My T shook her head and mentioned something like, "His reaction to this would have been something we would have address in the session if he had chosen to participate." I had a very strong reaction to this statement but swallowed it during the session. I did later email my T to share it with her so she is clear on where I stand on this at the moment.

Obviously, a couples approach would be a good way to handle our relationship problems. But at this point...I'm not interested in this.

I H has refused to participate in therapy. In fact when I first started he would say derogatory comments about it. And even just a few months ago he make a joke to one of his friends about my therapy which REALLY pissed me off. Hence, my feelings that H is not trustworthy and I do NOT want to include him in ANY discussions of my past. I don't think he means it but he can be a real insensative jackass at times.

Also, the one and only time he met with my T, when he felt uncomfortable and guilty about his actions...he launch a full assult on me. Telling my T all kinds of really intimate and personal things about our relationship. This was really early in the process. I think I had only met with her 2x prior to his airing all stuff. I will not subject myself to this type of vulerabilty again. I was totally blindsided by his attack on me all the things I wasn't doing for him in the bedroom and how that was why he was VA everyone in the house. .

I can't do it. I know some people like couples sessions because they feel protected by their T. Not me. If H gets upset he just unloads everything and doesn't give a crap how it comes out or who he hurts in the process. My T can't protect me from him.