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I know, and I try to let him know. It kills me to see him emotionally hurting, and see him hurting himself by not taking very good care of himself. It has always hurt me because he has always been like this. And I've always been relatively powerless to help him. I just want to see him happy and healthy, just like he wants to see me happy and healthy. I try to show him I love him...but even though he says that he knows I love him sometimes I wonder if he is just saying that.
My mom...isn't a lot of the problem actually. I get a little frustrated that being the passive "go with the flow" sort of person that she's not going to go crusade for me ...at least in the loud way... like my dad would. But the bitterness doesn't last long at all. But I'm having issues with my step-dad lately. He has good intentions but he goes about things in hurtful ways sometimes...I was going to post this in the thread about my grandma, but I thought it would be more appropriate here:
there was a brief discussion about it between my mom and step dad and he basically rules the house and his responses to the way I feel about religious discussion were "so what, it's our house" to which mom replied that it was my house too and that I shouldn't have to live in a place where I feel uncomfortable, to which he replied "so what, there is two of us and one of her. majority rules." as you can imagine that made me feel like how I felt was utterly worthless so why even bother trying...which is why I gave up. Giving up for the wrong reasons I know, but...who cares at this point. I'd rather live with my dad at this point because even though I know my self-care slips when I'm with him because at least my heart knows I'm valued over there
(for the record, right now I live with my dad but was planning on living with my mom because like I said before I take better care of myself with another girl around)
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