I know that I feel like my Adoptive Family and my Twin will think badly of me/love me less/hate me more/make others hate me more if I meet my own needs first - or if I meet them at all... I know that's a problem. I know i need to address it, but it's just how to address it and change it...

A lot of the changes that I made were in the moment. When I caught myself doing something that I wanted to change this is when I started working on it. The first step is just catching yourself then the next step is stopping yourself. After that you analyze what is going through your mind when you are doing it and then you try something different. This might take a dozen times going through it before you work through it. The first fews times you might just catch yourself and do nothing more. I also would spend time afterwards thinking it through and problem solving/understanding it.

I can see that I'm starting to accept that my needs are sometimes more important than others and that I need to put myself first more than I do. I'm getting there. I've started helping the people I normally help, less. Because I know that a lot of these people give me absolutely nothing back...