But I don't want his help!

The only help that I was suggesting is that he do that touch exercise with you. I don't think that you have to really explain all that much. Tell him that you want to connect more with him during sex and that slowing things down like this is how you do it. This stuff is common for women.

I want to address and heal from this myself.

I know this feeling! Trust and rigid boundaries in order to protect yourself. Been there, done that.

Some things that I find triggering are not related to intimacy but instead are health related and he cannot do anything about them. And I haven't been able to find a way for me not to respond to them the way I do. I've talked to my T about this but.... I guess there is nothing that can be done to help me with this.

Triggers can be worked through. The first step is understanding what is being triggered and then defusing that trigger in therapy by talking about the past incidents until you have all of your feelings out surrouding them. You can also stop yourself when you are being triggered and tell yourself that it is from the past and that the present is different and that you are an adult now and you can handle things.

hyperarousal cascade. I also think my ADHD plays a role in amplifying this. My nervous system is REALLY sensative so little things like smell, touch, texture, sounds can quickly overwhelm me and I withdraw either physically or mentally.

This makes sense........

the body-orientation therapy idea might help me. From what I can get from just reading about it... it seems like a major component of this approach is getting you more aware of what your feeling, to hang in there and not just dissociate, and instead be able to distinguish sensations and learn to differenciate the past from the present.

Sounds like a good plan.........

If I could get myself more comfortable feeling and tolerating safe-touch it might make me less fearful of it, and it might not be so hyper and easily overwhelmed. Maybe the stimuli wouldn't feel so overwhelming and would be overall more managable.

Would the touch exercise with your husband fall under this?

Contriction comes when I start to be come overwhelmed and fearful of being unable to move or free myself or I get nervous that I will not remain in control of myself or what is being done to me.

Is this you getting triggered then?