NLITEN, I use to ask myself those exact same questions. I assure you that you are still you regardless of the cylce your in. That voice is always there, we just have a tendency to either ignore it or bary it and sometimes were zooming so fast we can't grasp it. But know that mood stabilizers aren't going to "change" who you are, only temper the extremes to a more tolerable and safer level. I'm on meds and I'm still the silly, witty, clever, emotional and somewhat moody person I've always been. You'll only become more "manageable" and the voice of reason and self-preservation. You will "change" in that you will have better control over the self-destructive things you tend to do when cycling. Life becomes a little more peaceful, calm and more "in the moment" instead of thinking a quadrillion things all at once tearing you in a million different directions. The downside can be the side-effects. Although for most ppl those eventually go away if your consistant with taking your meds daily and on time. The very fact that your asking these questions and willing to explore the options is a testimony to your true self. Remember that! TrgsPurr. xo.