Hi there!

You're terrified of letting people in? Hey, join the club! I have problems with that too but that's not what I want talk to you about. If this person means this much to you, why don't you open your heart and tell her how much you care and how much you value the friendship you both have? Try to be there for her too. Instead of concentrating so much on how she helped you with your suicidal issues and made you feel a lot better, try to reciprocate by being an equally good friend to her. Friendship is a reciprocal thing, it's a two-way street. If you concentrate on her for a change, you'll get the focus off of yourself and that will contribute to your own well being as well.

About your suicidal thoughts, have you thought about all the pain and sorrow your family members would experience if you actually decided to end your life? Do you really want to put the people you love through something like that? Problems never last forever, my friend, life has its ups and downs and that's what makes it interesting.

You must be going through a really hard time right now and I understand how hard your situation really is for the fact that you don't have a job or medical insurance to provide you with the help you need to overcome your problems. The way the economy is isn't helping either but talk to a social worker in your area because they know about medical plans for indigent or unemployed people that can be very helpful to you. Don't give up, ok?

I hope you feel better and I'll pray for you.