I also don't think you are "stalking" him, but it seems obviously unhealthy. I have not had it to this extreme (for years) but I've engaged in similar behavior, and sadly I don't really know how to explain how I got over it. I think it feels like I just found someone else and moved on that way, but I don't think that's healthy either. There must be a way to find peace within yourself that you don't feel like you need to do this. I don't really know how to offer that kind of support, though, and i'm sorry for that. I hope you can find some relief somehow. Hopefully you have other trusted people or a doctor or someone?