thank you for having the courage to share with us your feelings, (((ag))). you may have more inner strength than you know. i am sorry you feel so lonely but know that i care how you feel as i am sure others do here too. learnig to trust ppl can be difficult for many of us. i discovered that part of what was happening to me with this same dillemma was that i was unknowingly picking the wrong ppl to be in my life. i would be blindsided when these ppl would eventually hurt me. but not all ppl are that insensitive or noncaring. keep posting and letting out your feelings. it won't fix everything but it will surely help. i was terrified as you are now at one point in my life. take safe, baby steps and try to find ppl that will cherish you. you are worth it.