I have been on this forum for a while now and I see a routine, disturbing trend in some of the posts I have read. It seems that not only are people struggling with this serious and troubling disorder, they are also struggling with the stigma attached to it. I am no expert, but I wonder how we can move past this?

I have had borderline for 15 years, raised a child, had multiple hospital admissions, multiple meds and bucketloads of therapy. I have been charged with a handful of crimes and run around like a psychopathic urban terrorist. I have been called nutjob, psycho, freak and social pariah. I have been in hospital with nurses entering the room in pairs with hypodermics at the ready and psychologists not willing to treat me.

I have overheard my nurse say to another nurse," Hmmm, borderline in room 1, Great, just what I needed today". I have been harassed in hospital by well-meaning psych students because I was an unusual specimen. There were no other borderlines or we were rare. I saw them standing outside of my isolated room, pointing through the unbreakable perspex square and speaking animatedly. I had two stigmas, that of a single parent and that of having borderline with schizoeffective.

I have had people run from me when all I wanted was a hug and be told that I am okay, I have been ostracized from my family except my father and had no true friends. I have been calculating and ruthless.

However, I have had people approach me with deep seated trauma because they could not talk to anyone else about it and tell me things they never knew existed. I have held down good jobs, if not for long and started my degree in Science. Thats my borderline pride........my ability to help people see what they haven't seen before in themselves and believe in the fundamental right to live my life in a good way. I deserve it don't I? As do all of you reading this.

You cannot let this disorder dictate fear of yourself........stigma be damned!!! Forgive the masses for they DO NOT understand.........and never will. You do not need them to understand........if you live with nothing, no money, no friends, no family........it cannot destroy you. The borderline can sure try but YOU have control over who you share this journey with........this precious, precious journey. You may not be like me who practically shouted it from the rooftops........but if you have pride in your own process, others will too. It is NOT easy, the more I have been pushed down, the more stubborn and antagonistic I get........and maybe I sound patronising from my soap box........but a little bit of me breaks when I see people struggle so much with WHO they are and why they feel so uncomfortable in their own skin.

The borderline is hard enough.........don't add to it the public perception of what borderline means......they don't have a clue!!!! You are not alone, you are not unloved and you have the right to a great life.

Gosh, I love all your borderline selves.........and other non-initiates into our club will love you for that too.......please, give yourselves a hug even if you can't stand what you see in the mirror. Love your borderlines selves for all its terror and unpredictability.........you cannot change how people are but you can change the disabling effect of stigma on yourselves so you can spend the mental energy HEALING

In stillness..........