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Michah's Avatar
Member Since Nov 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,332
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 21, 2009 at 07:47 PM
Originally Posted by blacksheep XX View Post
Thanks to all you caring souls who responded to my pain. I still struggle. I struggle between wanting to share with my therapist as a couple of you have recommended I do. But, this is hard for me because there is a big part of me that does NOT want to stop. I know it is because I have been getting away with it for a while now. In fact, I got caught and went to court and stopped for a couple of decades in the past, but since it started again, it's become an addiction that I actually enjoy and feel I "need" as a function of the poor economy and my struggle with finances. Scratch that. It's not true. I don't "need" it. That's just something I tell myself to justify the acts. Actually, it makes me feel good to have the stuff and then I feel bad about myself as a human being. My boyfriend knows and says I must stop. I know he's right. I stopped telling him what I have taken when it ceased being cute. Now I feel lonely with my secret, but equally thrilled when I can save a little money on something. I don't steal expensive things either. Usually food and cosmetics... the type of stores I frequent, and get pissed about the prices and how they add up. I like the feeling that at least I have gotten one item for free.
I don't know where this confession will take me, but thank you all for your empathy and compassion.

Sweetie, sorry I was responding to something roxyanne asked.......but can pm you if you like!! Good. You are on the right will discuss it with your T when you are ready. Maybe if you radically accept it, the consequences as well, you will be more prepared to talk about it at a time that suits. Your post is not a confession, you are not asking for absolution, you don't need to......more that you are seeking unconditional support in your process.......and you have it. We are here........

For all things Light and Dark.......

The only Truth that exists.....
.........Is that there is no absolute Truth.
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