Quote:
Originally Posted by turquoisesea
I have trouble moving on from past events. Has anyone else gone through this? What has helped?
A lot of my depression is caused by years of repression, that got me through my childhood. But all the stuff I didn't deal with back then is still here, buried inside me.
That's about 20 years of repressed stuff. Well, maybe not that much - maybe my baby years were ok - but I carry a lot of baggage from the past that I never dealt with, just ignored.
I don't know how to face all these things which now are attacking me all at once - they were hard enough as individual events! And since I repressed them I haven't learned how to deal with hurt feelings, anger, mistreatment. How to COME TO TERMS with things and MOVE ON.
I am still going through delayed grieving for a member of my family - a cat who was a sister to me. I am upset by lost friendships including 2 friendships which ended because the friends decided I was worthless once I got a boyfriend, how my mother treated me as a child, isolation first caused largely by my mother and then by habit, and even by more recent events involving my boyfriend and his ex (there was major miscommunication... nothing "serious" but it hurt me very much).
I've made some progress, especially in grieving, and in trying to get past friendships. But just when I think it's over it seems to start over again.
Help?
sorry this was a long one
~turquoisesea
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Hi!
I deal with regret and depression every day. I lost my relationship with my daughter in January due to her stealing, drugs, and lying. My dog just died. My adoptive parents abused me. So did my husbands. So, I kinduv know how you feel.
What has been working for me (aside from med changes) is reaching out to people...like you just did! Just keep reaching out. Hit the boards every day. Take strength where you can find it.
And, my saving grace is that I developed an all-consuming passion for something new. In my case, it was Battlestar Galactica. It's the story of how people survive after their lives get nuked. (Which was how I felt in Jan.) Obsessive veiwing, and hooking up with some really great people on those boards saved my butt!!! And I'm not even a big SciFi nut.
Your passion will probably be something entirely different. But, you
will probably have to force yourself to get super involved with something outside your life (like I did - I'm a hermit). Getting outside yourself really helps. Still...I don't know of anything that can ease the pain of loosing a beloved pet. In my case, one of our other dogs has suddenly adopted me and it helps. You have my deepest sympathy on all your losses. And my support.