it is not like I'm not trying here folks...i've reached out ito to to infinity and and and bottom line: nobody wants to to to help me

yeah, I can go to to to the clinic...but i been there (4 times in two years) and it sucks royal

yeah, i been on meds before, and and and they did no good. tried lots and and and lots of different ones. ( but that was when I was a blind sheep years back). i'm not gonna be a guinea pig for these doctors nor will I support drug companies that make money off my depressed *****...I'd rather face it it it head on than mask the problems entirely

on a good & positive note, i talked with a young lady who is also BPD and and and she founded a BPD association in the the the state of Florida. She is is is an advocate for BPD. She talked with me today and and and everything that I am experiencing regarding the the the mental health field, well, she had heard a 1000 shameful cases like mine. Yes, that's right. We both had had had similar experiences...being Baker acted, therapists dropping or rejecting, etc. It just felt good to to to talk to her and and and know that I wasn't alone, IRL. She even agreed that that that the mental health field was a joke when it comes to to to treating our illness. Wow, what a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, she does not know of of of any good therapists in my area but but but invited me to to to continue to email her and and and possibly attend one of her conferences. Out of anybody I have ever talked to over the the the course of two years...she was the the the only one that came close to to to understanding.