KC, from what I've read and have been told almost all survivors of childhood sexual abuse suffer from depression, and many, many of us make suicide attempts.

You may have both a genetic predispostion to depression, then your unfortuanate environmental circumstances also kicked in. Either (or both) way the bottom line is you have depression. So you need to learn how to deal with it and get help and support.

I've been dealing with depression all my life also. As I get older I get better with dealing with it, have more coping skills, recognize when I'm sliding into it sooner, know when to get help, need to change meds, etc. It gets better in that sense. For me, it doesn't go away, I have times when I'm not feeling real depressed, anxiety is still always high though, sometime years have gone by like that.

But for me, I am not able to deal with much stress at all. Too many triggers, too much stress, even not getting enough sleep, eating right, too much activity, I end up slipping down the slope. It takes constant vigilance and awareness for me to be okay and enjoy my life. But I do enjoy it more than I don't. Although knowing what I know now, if I had the choice....