I disagree that love = pain. IMO, love is patient, tolerant, kind and supportive. Love is reasonable and reciprocal. Does being in a loving relationship sometimes mean that we feel pain. Most definitely. But not because our loved one intentionally causes us pain over and over again. That's abuse.

There are all kinds of sad things that happen in relationships, sickness, job loss, human frailty, death. Those things can't be avoided. If you truly love someone, yes pain will happen. But if it happens over and over and over again, by the same person, for the same reason, then that person is taking advantage of you, is being abusive to you. You can choose to live with it, but that is your choice. It does not make you a saint. It makes you a person willing to live with someone who does not care about your feelings, your well being, or your self respect. It means you made a choice to be in a relationship where you do all the giving, all the suffering, because back in childhood you learned that love = pain.

I learned that as a child. I reject that idea today. If my partner, my friend, my family member, isn't as capable of giving me support, kindness, tolerance and love - of giving me the good feelings I give to them on a constistent basis, then I choose not to have a relationship with that person. And I certainly do not consider that a "loving" relationship.

Also, in my opinion, ignorance is never strength. The more knowledge one has about anything, the better able you are to make informed decisions and opinions.

War = peace? IMO, sometimes fighting is necessary. There are people who are just so sick that all they want to do is tear you down and try to destroy you. Sometimes one has to fight back, to stick up for yourself. Standing up for yourself, taking care of yourself can sometimes feel like "war" because others will attack you for being good to yourself. And fighting to take care of yourself can lead to peace. You learn to get rid of all the people and things in your life that are dragging you down and keeping you feeling bad about yourself. Then you have peace.