jennie,
it sure sounds like your disease is talking and the jennie we all know is hostage to that dratted disease at the moment.

Depression is a bear and compound that with PTSD and you have years of icky healing work and frustrations and meds and hospitals and therapists and so on. Bleh!

I look forward to your contributions to this board. I am sorry that right now you're not able to find something to look forward to........that's how depressive thinking goes. Stinkin' thinkin'!!

offered up in kindness from one who has been in that blackest darkness,