(((big hugs back)))) Thank you for your sweet words to me.

From what you write it sounds as though you accomplished more than you had before. That you did not meet your ascribed goal you had in mind of course would depress you. Sometimes we set unrealistic goals. With PTSD it is often impossible for us to establish reasonable goals without professional help. This is the nature of the beast (ptsd.) It is not something we automatically have control over, and just by knowing the problem does NOT change the outcome.

Parents are supposed to be there for us. Often when they are elderly they feel unneeded in life. Being needed, especially by a child should give them satisfaction (though they might not let it be known by the things they say!!!)

Oh sandy do I ever understand the "acting normal" comment. I am still trying to believe my T when he and I discuss this. It feels as though when I can "fit in" with society for a very short time, that I pulled it off, I faked them out just long enough... before I fell back into the true reality of my life. He turns it around, "reframes" it for me, and suggests that it it when I do fit in that that IS reality, and it is when I fall back into the depression and (il)logical thinking that that is when the ptsd has most control... wow. I am trying to trust him in this, and believe (without trying or applying my incorrect logic to it) just because he is my T and really cares for me and my mental health. He is an expert with ptsd... so he's right... right? sigh.

You must, first and foremost, listen to your doctor's voice. The T has no self interest , no self-serving motive to tell you anything that isn't for your own best interest. When we cannot believe ourselves, the doctor is there giving us the foundation.