... My t also talked about feeling abandoned and alone growing up. Can they read our minds!.
sometimes I think so and then my T proves otherwise.

There is such a sense of peace and happiness that surrounds my T and I so want that, but I don't know how to find it. I guess that is why I am in t. Do you ever resent the fact that your own T seems to have it all together?
Mine is this way too, I don't feel resentful as much as i do, what is the word, envious? not that... I wouldn't take it away from her but it is something I want so much. This is what keeps me coming back - in spite of my huge distrust, in spite of the times she CAN'T read my mind, I want that health and serenity that she radiates.

I am hoping next week I will be a better (client)
((((( dear del ))))) don't exhaust yourself worrying about this - I already have done and it isn't helpful at all. What you are, you are; you come in there as you are; T needs to know you as you are in order to figure out what is the next step. I have heard people here at PC say, "trust the process" and as much as that goes against my innate distrust, there doesn't seem to be a better way.