Thanks, Elysium, that helps. I realize, too, that sharing this stuff might feel a little unsafe. I don't want to perpetuate any myths about people with DD that curiosity seekers viewing here might spread around in a way that is undesirable. Yes, I've ben told that I'm more "psychic" than i realize, but it isn't a place I want to go. Like you, I'm just not sure what i feel about that and really don't want it! Example, I'm struggling right now with feelings I'm sensing from someone important to me. It feels like that person is pulling back and I don't want to lose him. This is a professional relationship and so i can't just confront him or ask him, he won't go there. He's been very kind and understanding and I really don't want to mess that up. I've been having a really tough time and I sense he feels at a loss to know how to help me, so perhaps he's pulled back to keep his own feelings in check. That's good, but, I feel it and it feels like i'm losing something, plus I'm scared he'll leave like so many have before. Yes, I have issues of abandonment and with good reason. My best friend said I'm paranoid right now and I really wish she had chosen a different word because that puts it all on me and that is not what relationships are about, only one person. I've known this person for 5 years. I also wonder how much of it is fear of abandonment, but I don't think paranoia fits. So, I don't know if I'm truly sensing his private feelings and fears around me, or it's my own. How can I tell the difference? I just feel like he's closed off and there can be so many reasons for that, too, that might have nothing to do with me. You and I are in the same boat, in a way, not knowing what to do with the feelings. How do you cope? How do you put it outside of yourself and let it go? Help!
If you or anyone else wants to PM me about this, I'm good with that.