Exactly!! There is light, I've been through 2 horrible years, having times that I thought I couldn't last another day, but some how, some way, (with the help of a fine psychologist and psychiatrist) I made it !!! I am still working at it day after day. Like you I came close to that "final departure", but I reached out for help, and found that light at the end of the tunnel, don't give up!!
"darkeyes"