I'm too tired to figure out how to respond individually to replies and I don't know if it even matters, but here's what I did/am doing...

Talked to my counselor. Didn't tell her how bad things are getting and didn't show her my journal. however, I told her i'm getting back to where i'm not sleeping again . She asked if the job interview i have tomorrow offers me any glimmer of hope or something positive. I forget what she exactly said. At any rate, I responded with a "no". We talked a bit and she told me i'm already denying myself the job and etc. I guess she was kind of right. But, even if the job is offered, I'm quite sure I won't pass the background check and etc. and if there is an offer, it'll be rescinded. She said my work background and etc. may cancel out the results of checks and tests. I'm not too sure about that either.

I did ask her if I can see her more than once a week and she said i can. She said she'd play with her schedule or whatever and let me know next week.

I was tested by a neurologist shortly after my car accident (about 7 or 8 yrs. ago) and also had an MRI. Everything was supposedly normal. The neurologist didn't like it much when i told him he had to be wrong, I wasn't like i was before the accident and that since so little is known about the brain, maybe there's something wrong they can't test for yet or don't even know about yet. To this day, I believe that. If i had $$ or health insurance, I'd get looked at again.

My counselor is also getting some info for me about some kind of drop in center i can go to to get out of my house for a bit if i need to do so.

I don't know if any of that will help...but something's gotta give