Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaika
My parent's aren't really abusive but...
My dad is such a loving, and caring person
Until he just blows up and throws a fit over something little and makes you feel like crap
And my mom and step dad want me to communicate how I feel...
But whenever I do so they really do not listen to me. They DO NOT RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES. They can love me all they want but I can't possibly live in that sort of situation anymore.
I'm changing
My life is changing
And you'd think that your parents would be the last thing to ever change on you. But now they've changed too. I need their stability right now and that's the last thing I'm being given.
I gave my mom and step dad two simple boundaries:
1. I have an excessive need for privacy.
2. Refrain from talking about religion while I'm around
Sadly, those things are apparently selfish or stupid of me to ask for. If I want a lot of privacy then it's just stupid and they bust my chops about it all the time. And apparently not wanting to have religious talk is selfish and ignorant and not only do they not give a crap, occationaly they INTENTIONALLY talk about when I'm around because they KNOW it's upsetting to me and start snickering. They've gone from people who claim to be spiritual and not really liking any organized religion to people who go to church every sunday, say prayer before every meal, listen to their christian rock and think any other belief is woefuly misguided ...this in and of itself is not a bad thing, hey, more power to you if you are like that, but be respectful of others. I'm not with them a huge amount of the time, so is it REALLY so outrageous to not talk about their faith when I'm around? According to them, my brother, and several people here it is.
I love my dad, I love him a lot. Even though my mom and step dad stick their noses up at him because they think he is too closed minded and stuff. (A realatively Conservative Republican most of the time) but he is very affectionate. He really TRIES his best as a parent. Even if he isn't the best comunicator sometimes. What kills me is that I don't know if he knows that I love him back. He's a depressed guy a lot of the time. Occationaly he also blows up over little things too in ways that's probably be sonsidered verbally abusive. But in the end, he always feels horrible about it so I forgive him for his moments.
That isn't to say that I don't love my mom and step dad. But they are starting new lives now, and you can either be a part of it or get out. I don't like their new life so the only option left is to not really be a part of it anymore. Oh well, I guess it was stupid of me to think that now that in their eyes I'm pretty much an adult that they'd be near;y as supportive as I was when I was a kid 
|
Hey there Kiaka. With your 2 boundaries.
Privacy: Do your mom & step dad have any reason to mistrust you. Self injury, lying, sneaking out, spending to much time on tv, cell-phone, computer?
I know my oldest daughter 13 says that privacy is ne of her biggest complaints. I just reminder, she has a history of self injuring, sneaking up in the middle f the night to watch tv, sneaking on the computer to email grown men to say she thought they were sexy, wasn't doing her home work....so she no longer even has a door, tv, or phone & no computer access unless it's at school or for school & I have to see it.
She knows she has to slowly earn privacy back
With the religion thing. I can understand "It's my house thing", I word it "It's all our house that Me & your mom pay for & we do get the final vote but will listen to your conserns.
That being said, them intentionally talking about religion just to get a reaction out of you is kind of childish. So treated with child psychology. Ignore it & it will go away. Atleast the moments that are done just to get to you. They may still pray at dinner....then just obstain from the prayer
good luck
