um...at war with self over telling...so many things people can't believe. Makes me sick and alone. No memory memory but knowing. Knowing even before dreaming then dreaming and feeling in dreams. KNOWING

i wish there was an SpA, SRA, RA forum. i wish a space to be able to share, recognize similarities. Stuck slowingness. validation needs

So much horror. sick silent screams. Feel off and drama sigh.

e.s. devices saw in dreams specific. long paddle to back, black plastic clamp to face, metal chair with thingy...e.s. is shocking. sorry

staring slowness shake it off, me, k will k