It's been my experience that when people know what it is and that you have it they are relieved. Once I told my mom, she felt relieved that it wasn't something she had done nor was it that I was simply an inconsiderate and mean person. She began to understand how little control I had and it explained SO MANY THINGS. Clarity can only help.
And i can relate to your automatic response, 'nothing is wrong'. I was conditioned as a kid to answer that questons "How are you?" with the programmed answer of "fine", regardless of how I really was. So when I was really in trouble and began asking for help I had a huge communication barrier to overcome. I would go to see someone and tell them that I wasn't Ok and they weren't hearing me. They didn't realize that when I say I am not OK, I am REALLY not Ok. So I understand how hard it can be. But you are defo on the right track, knowing yourself well enough to know you need to get yourself under control and realizing that we can't always do that by ourselves. You should be proud of yourself. And btw, people love to be needed, so don't deny your wife the opportunity to help you when you need it. That's marriage for you : helping pull each other through. Good luck, let us know how it goes, and continue to post, you are mirroring a lot of other peoples experiences and thoughts here, and its therapuetic in itself.
lol
-Val