I do think it is very normal for someone to need to seek advice outside of the marriage/relationship. However, it is impossible to give that person both sides/persepctives since they are only one person. There is no way to pier into the mind of another and know what they are thinking/feeling and relay that to anyone. So all this friend hears is your hubbys opinion/frustration etc. You should find someone to bounce your ideas off of, like you have done here, it does help to share and state your issues to others outside of the confines of a relationship. Do not hold this against your hubby, at least he is seeking some advice even if it may not be from the best possible choice. At least he is trying, just like you are. It is good you can talk to each other, that should be the most productive if you can both maintain a calm demeanor and talk civily and openly without fear of consequences. Keep seeking answers and keep talking, the worst is if you cut off all contact and isolate yourself. You have a husband who loves you, thrive on that, make the most of it, acknowledge it, that may even help you out of your depression. Good luck