I had to go in Feb for mine. Was 3rd time I had to go. It soudns really scary and it is the first time, but they understand that. I didn't even have to tell the nurse I was anxious. She could def tell! She went really slow and told me everything before she did it (even though she knew I had one before).

Have you looked online for a full explanation to what goes on during the exam? They check for cysts in the ovaries by pressing on yoru belling. And they will do a breast exam (easiest part I think) to check for lumps. And then they do the pelvic exam.

Just take deep breaths and if you get really uncomfortable you can ask them to stop and let you calm down and breathe for a minute. You might want to explain the dissociation thing so theyll know and can be prepared and more sensitive to your needs. Just know no one enjoys this experience and its normal to try to think of every reason to get out of it! Its very important though, to your health. And it does get easier each time. Just think.....you wont have to go for a whole year!!

Good luck babe.