a man used his power to overpower you - threaten you and force you to perform oral sex - it is a big deal - I can see how it would have affected you and still does - talking about it to T brings all that to the surface - all the things you told yourself to get through and past it - all the feelings you put away come out -

When I told T about being SA - I wanted to suck the words back out of the air and wipe his mind clean - not leave a trace - it was really painful for me to talk about it - the little I did - I dont have a lot of memories - the things is next time when I saw T and realised he hadnt changed how he treated me - that he didnt think it was my fault - that I didnt cease to exist - that the world didnt stop turning for me it did start to get better - yes it affects your past and your present - but working with T can help you stop it from affecting your future

Sorry for the long reply