I have been through this and I know how you feel. I am of the opinion that computers and cell phones just make all this crazy, sneaky, keep it from your wife or husband, or significant other easier. No matter how we look at it, it is not right, it is an affair, it hurts, and it is a cause of many divorces. I survived, but it is not the same as it was before between us. There is always that little man in my head saying, "Could this happen again." I am sorry this happened to you. It is not fair, and you should not feel quilty or be made to feel that way for finding out no matter how you found it. Something inside tells us when things are not right.