((((((((((((((((kaelia)))))))))))))))))))))

Having hope ripped away from you like that is an awful thing, but I think it's also hopeful that you're able to feel something good at all, however briefly. Try to enjoy the good moments to their fullest so that you can hold onto the memory of them when things are bad. That way, you can remind yourself that there is another state of being than the funk of depression. It's NOT a constant feeling -- even if the bright moments are few and far between, they're there, and I'm glad you have them.