I'm so very sorry this has happened. It is a terrible thing to be going through. What made you look through his emails in the first place? Was it innocent or was there some suspition that sent you there? How long did these emails go on? Was it a very short period of time? Could it have been a point where he was scared of getting married but then realized you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I do feel like you need to deal with this though. Decide how much you want things to work and if you will be able to let it go. It will most likely be on your mind continually for awhile, but hopefully it will ease with time. I wish you the best of luck with things my friend