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There has been a lot of stress in my life since the end of last year and here is a quick summary :
October 2008 ~ mass removed, possible cancer, benign.
Thanksgiving/Christamas ~ family stress/with just the holidays as usual, but with triggers this time and begin to decompensate.
Jan/Feb 2008 ~ 24 day psychiatric hospitalization
March 2008 ~ not unpacked from hosp yet and have 7 day hosp for very serious pneumonia
March 2008 ~ day after I'm discharged from the hospital my father-in-law is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, hospice in place, given one week to six months.
April 2008 ~ father-in-law not doing well, as of Thursday has 24 hour awake hospice nurse in home.
I feel like I've been rapidly having more difficulties with depression, focusing, making decisions, fragmenting, ridged thinking to no thinking, staying present, feeling disconnected and on the verge of disorganizing.
On Friday, my therapist brought up the idea of hospitalization as is increasingly difficult to find and use my coping skills. However, I am trying to keep it together for my husband as I think his father is going to decline much more rapidly than expected and I want to be there for him.
Also, the hospital that I would go to is no longer a preferred provided as of 4/1/09. The copay is 40% and I really can't go anywhere else. I'm just so confused and don't know what I need or what to do. Maybe, I just needed to say that.
I'm not even sure if I would meet my insurance's criteria for hospitalization because I'm not suicidal or actively self-injuring. Thanks for listening.
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