There there sweet girl. Lots of thoughts, uncertainty in replying yet want to support too.

Thoughts: Has he come after you in the past as an adult? If not, seems like this is a younger part that is scared. Why? Is there a specific trigger going on that you can become aware of? Regardless of reason, can you comfort this part? If T already believes father is unhealthy for you, is this compulsion to contact him part of a cycle of sorts that historically leads to more unhealthy contact? Thinking it would be a good idea to sit on this until you can talk to your T. i know it's hard to do that when perseverative thoughts going on. Care for you and want you to be safe...thinking better to do self care, calming, nurturing to get by this persistent thought.

i have thoughts about my brother...wanting to confront though very very scared even tho he knows where i live and could have come after me if he wanted. in past, with confrontation before i knew extent of what he did he moved away. HE the one scared tho could have been coincidence seemed to happen fast.

Anyway, i care. If there's anything i can do, please let me know. Sit with you, chat with you, PM with you. Not available from 4:00 to 5:00pm Pacific and 11:00 to 12:00 pm--talk to best friend online those times. Otherwise can be here for you if you want. It ok to ask, it's ok not to ask.